How do you define a friend? I have no where to begin. I use to believe that a friend was someone who simply: liked me, enjoyed my company, supported me and was someone I trusted without measure. Now I have to add that a friend also doesn't get jealous but is happy for a friend's success, doesn't have alterior motives but is true through and through. I think a friend like this is rare. I also believe I need to spend more time and energy spending moments with the people who have been and continue to be my closest friends.
I had given up writing my blog for a long time. I had so much to say but the discipline of putting it in writing was not a priority. Simply, I'm back.
It has been one hell of a year and now it's over. To say 2011 started out well is a huge inaccuracy but I have hope and hope is what drives us forward, motivates us and allows us to pause and inwardly smile.
Complexity is seen through the perception of the beholder. People analyze and compartmentalize situations according to their education and previous life experiences but I do believe the most influence on one's deductive thinking is buried within the psyche. Within the turmoil of daily life one pauses to find the connections that make sense. To place the last piece of a puzzle is a good day.
Ok so what does that mean? It means I have no other way of starting what I am about to write. Um....so here's the thing... How do I tell the Facebook Groupies and a few of my close friends, I have no, I repeat no desire to see the movie? I don't care about the sensation just like I don't care about Hannah Montana. I guess I should care because many folks are swooning over the sequel. I am not one of them. The part I do care about is the Mormon undercurrent and how the female character compromises the very salt of who she is to be with the male lead. So, essentially the movie should have been made prior to the burning of bras, invention of "the pill", women's sexual empowerment and 1970.
I dropped my daughter off in Portland, OR to catch the "Holiday Bus" back to the U of I at the end of Spring Break. We had a wonderful week which wasn't suppose to happen. Courtney's father was suppose to drive to the U of I on the Sunday before to pick her up and take her to Pierce, Idaho for a week of fun. Unfortunately, Courtney called the Thursday before with a temp. of 103.5. I was in the car the next morning enroute for the U of I to pick her up. The physician diagnosed her with probable H1N1. I rolled into town about 10 hours later where I packed her up, picked her up and took her to the hotel. Her temp. was managed with Advil. The next day we drove home, without stopping at the house straight to Urgent Care once in town. She got a diagnosis of tonsillitis and possible Mono. Antibiotics were prescribed and within a few days she was well. It worked out perfect. Especially since Pierce is many miles from any medical care. This was a good decision.
I caught up with my parents yesterday. They asked if I missed her. Did I miss Courtney? Of course but it was also something else. The time has flown by so fast. In the blink of an eye she has grown and become a beautiful woman. I love spending time with her. Courtney is truly delightful. Smart, funny, beautiful inside and out. I miss the energy. The way she fills the room with happiness. I know in my heart all is well but...in the blink of an eye...children grow up, parents age, the world turns and we live day to day... If we are fortunate, we live our lives to the fullest being grateful along the way.
Where has time gone? I had planned to write at least monthly and then ended up jumping over February completely. I have to say jumping over a month in the middle of the cold, rainy weather isn't that bad of a thing. Just like the bears, I believe people go into a form of hibernation this time of year. We get more sluggish, put on weight, sleep more and our productivity declines a bit. When I start talking about this at work and with friends everyone says "yeah, I feel the same way". So, now what? As the warm days continue and the hours of sun lengthen I am looking forward to perking up, shedding some weight and sleeping less.
The beginning of a New Year, a new perspective, a new start. Why is it we make resolutions and plan to change with the passing of a new year? I think the best thing a new year brings is the encouragement to reflect on the previous year. I believe most folks look at the past year, reflect on the bad things that happened and resolve to move on, happy the year is behind them. Instead, we should reflect on both the good and the bad. Maybe make a mental or written list of both. Look at the bad things, bless them and move on. Look at the good and give thanks for every blessing that was bestowed upon us. When it has been one "hell" of a year it won't be that simple of course but love and caring of friends and family will help and support us more in the new year.
Grace and integrity are the two virtues I look for in others and myself. Knowing when to love, disagree and cuss are very important. Making sure you do not confuse the circumstances and accidently disagree and cuss when you should be listening and loving is of utmost importance. I am a daughter, wife and mother. I love my life and am generally happy even at my lowest. I detest self made victims and daily drama. I do have sympathy for folks who work hard and life just won't give them a break. If I can help out I do.